If you’re finding that he’s talking to everyone but you, don’t lose heart. There are plenty of reasons why this is happening—ranging from shyness to being preoccupied or simply not picking up on your signals. Instead of confronting him directly, focus on creating casual, friendly interactions that can help bridge the gap.
Why Does He Talk To Everyone But Me?
Here are 8 reasons why he is talking to everyone but avoids talking to you:
1. He’s Shy Around You
If he’s really into you, he could be too nervous to start a conversation. It’s like that feeling when you have a crush on someone, and suddenly, your words just disappear.
Talking to others is easy because they don’t make him feel this way—there’s no pressure, no fear of fumbling or saying something silly or embarrassing. But with you, it’s different.
He’s worried that one wrong word might mess things up, so instead of risking it, he sticks to what’s safe and familiar.
| Shyness | No Interest |
|---|---|
| He avoids prolonged eye contact because it makes him nervous. | He rarely makes eye contact, showing a lack of engagement. |
| His body language is closed off or fidgety around you. | His body language is neutral or distant, with no effort to engage. |
| He struggles to find words when talking to you. | He keeps conversations short, polite, and formal if they happen at all. |
| He talks more in group settings to avoid direct conversation with you. | He participates in group conversations but doesn’t make an effort to include you. |
| Likes or views your posts but rarely comments or engages directly. | No engagement on social media—he doesn’t like, comment, or view your posts. |
| He often stays close by but doesn’t initiate contact. | He doesn’t go out of his way to be near you and might even keep his distance. |
| He responds but seems flustered or overly cautious. | He responds politely but shows no interest in continuing |
2. He’s Playing It Cool
Sometimes, guys think that if they don’t pay attention to you, they’ll seem more mysterious or harder to get. It’s a classic move, really—talk to everyone else but the one you’re actually interested in.
He believes that by focusing on others, he’ll appear less obvious about his feelings for you. In his mind, playing it cool makes him look more attractive like he’s not too eager or desperate.
He is hoping that by acting this way, you’ll start to wonder why he’s not giving you attention, making you more curious about him. It’s a subtle game of trying to be noticed without directly showing his cards.
3. He Doesn’t Realize You Want to Talk
He is completely unaware that you’re interested in talking to him. Some guys just aren’t great at picking up on subtle hints or body language.
You will think you’re being obvious—catching his eye, smiling, maybe even standing nearby—but to him, these signals go unnoticed.
He’s not intentionally ignoring you; he simply doesn’t realize you’re hoping for a conversation. He is wrapped up in his own thoughts, or maybe he’s just a bit clueless when it comes to reading people. If you’re waiting for him to make the first move, he does not even know there’s a move to make.
4. He’s Not Sure How to Approach You
He finds you intimidating and thinks you’re out of his league, which makes starting a conversation with you seem daunting.
He’s worried about saying the wrong thing, or he’s unsure how to break the ice without feeling awkward. When he talks to others, it’s easy because he doesn’t feel the same pressure to impress. But with you, it’s different—he wants to make a good impression, and that can make him second-guess himself.
So, instead of risking it, he keeps his distance, unsure of how to bridge the gap between you two.
5. He’s Comfortable with the Others
He’s more familiar with the people he’s talking to and feels at ease with them. If he’s been around these people for a while, they’re in his comfort zone. There’s no awkwardness or need to impress—they’re just people he’s used to.
If he hasn’t interacted with you much, he does not feel that same level of comfort. It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to you, but sticking with what’s familiar is just easier for him.
He needs more time to feel comfortable around you, or he’s waiting for the right moment to include you in the conversation. For now, he’s just hanging out with the people who don’t make him overthink every word.
To make him comfortable:
- Start with casual, light conversations.
- Smile and show open, friendly body language.
- Find common interests to discuss.
- Be patient and give him time to warm up.
- Avoid putting him on the spot; let the conversation flow naturally.
- Include him in group settings where he feels at ease
6. He’s Distracted or Preoccupied
If he’s got something heavy on his mind, he isn’t fully aware of who he’s talking to—or who he’s not talking to.
When someone is preoccupied, they tend to go through the motions without really being present, so he does not even realize he’s excluding you from the conversation. It’s not about you; it’s more about whatever he’s trying to process.
He’s in his own world, so even though it seems like he’s talking to everyone but you, he might not be fully engaging with anyone. He’s just distracted, and his mind isn’t focused on socializing equally.
7. He Thinks You’re Not Interested
If you haven’t given him clear signs that you want to talk, he assumes you’re not interested. Some guys are more cautious when it comes to initiating conversations, especially if they’re not sure how the other person feels.
He is avoiding you because he doesn’t want to seem pushy or risk getting rejected. In his mind, if you were interested, you would have already made a move or shown some signs.
Since he hasn’t picked up on those cues, he figures it’s better to focus on talking to people who seem more open to interacting with him.
He thinks you’re not interested if you:
- Avoid starting or participating in conversations.
- Don’t look his way or make eye contact.
- Offer brief or uninterested answers.
- Cross your arms or turn away.
- Rarely reach out or make an effort to talk.
- Ignore or quickly change topics he brings up.
- Stay away or exclude him from group activities.
8. He’s Waiting for You to Make the First Move
He might be shy or unsure of how to start a conversation with you, so he’s waiting for you to give him a sign or make the first move. Sometimes, guys just don’t know how to break the ice, especially if they’re really interested in someone.
He is hoping that you’d initiate the conversation, which would give him the green light to relax and start talking. He’s hanging back, waiting for some kind of signal from you that it’s okay to approach.
If you’ve been waiting for him to make a move, it is time to take the lead and show him that you’re open to talking.
Should You Confront Him About It?
Directly confronting him about why he talks to everyone but you might not be the best approach, especially if you’re still getting to know him.
It can come off as confrontational and might make things awkward. Instead, focus on creating opportunities for interaction and building a natural connection.
If you’ve tried various approaches and he still doesn’t seem to notice you, it might be worth reassessing whether it’s worth pursuing further. In any case, keep it light and positive, and let things unfold naturally.
How Can I Make Him Notice Me?
Use these tricks to grab his attention:
- Initiate a conversation and show genuine interest in what he has to say.
- Ask questions or comment on shared interests to spark a connection.
- Use friendly body language, like smiling and making eye contact, to signal approachability.
- Suggest doing something together, such as grabbing a coffee or joining a group activity, to create opportunities for more personal interaction.
- Stand tall, speak clearly, and don’t hesitate to start conversations.
Conclusion:
Initiate conversations, engage in shared interests, and use open body language to show you’re approachable. Remember, patience is key. By making an effort to connect and giving him the space to warm up, you’ll increase the chances that he’ll start noticing you more. Keep things light and positive, and let the relationship unfold naturally.
As a married wife, founder, and editor of SpouseMag.com – these guides are based on my own personal experiences, observations, research and insights. I am transparent about being inspired by the life and work of the two greatest experts in the relationship space – Dr. John and Julia Gottman, and Harville and Helen. They two are some of the strongest couples, researchers, authors, and counselors when it comes to marriage and relationships. My advice and guides are based on my insights and research, and they are not an alternative to professional advice.
