When it comes to first dates, the sweet spot is 60 minutes. That’s right, an hour is usually all you need to see if there’s a connection worth exploring further. Anything longer feels forced, while anything shorter does not give you enough time to get comfortable.
With 40% of Americans meeting online these days, first dates have become a common part of life.
But just because you met someone great on an app doesn’t mean you need to spend hours with them right away. Keeping that first date to an hour is a perfect way to test the waters without diving too deep.
Key Takeaways
- Keep it short and sweet: A 1-hour first date is ideal to test the waters without diving too deep, leaving both parties wanting more.
- Reduces pressure and stress: A shorter date takes the pressure off, allowing both individuals to relax and enjoy the experience without feeling stuck.
- Encourages simplicity and flexibility: One-hour dates are easy to plan, keeping things low-pressure and comfortable, and allowing for flexibility in your schedule.
- Leaves room for mystery and boosts first impressions: A short date keeps a little mystery alive, creating excitement for a second date, and helps make a good first impression without the risk of things dragging on.
- Helps manage expectations and allows for multiple dates: One-hour dates are realistic, preventing high expectations and disappointment, and allowing for more opportunities to meet different people.
Why Your Best First Date Should Only Last 1 Hour: 7 Reasons
So why exactly is one-hour ideal for a first date? Let’s jump into seven reasons why your first date should only last 60 minutes.
1. Keeps Things Exciting
The first dates are about excitement and chemistry. A one-hour date leaves both of you wanting more. It’s just enough time to connect without overdoing it.
The goal is to leave the date on a high note, which makes your time together feel special. Shorter dates also make it easier to escape any awkward moments. You’ll walk away feeling positive, which increases the chance of a second date.
Kaius Reed, a relationship coach based in Los Angeles, firmly believes that a one-hour first date is just perfect for keeping things exciting. He said, “The magic happens when you leave each other wanting more. That first hour is important—any longer, and the energy dips.”
Kaius also emphasized, “Short dates create a sense of mystery. You get a taste, but not the whole meal, which makes the next meeting even more enticing.”
2. Reduces Pressure
An hour-long date takes the pressure off. Both of you can relax, knowing that there’s an end time. Longer dates can feel stressful, especially if the chemistry isn’t there. One hour allows you to assess the situation without feeling like you’re stuck.
This timeframe allows you both to enjoy the experience without worrying about what comes next.
Sage August, a renowned dating expert from New York, strongly opposes lengthy first dates. He stated, “Your first date should not last more than 60 minutes. The longer the date, the more pressure both of you feel.”
Sage highlighted, “An hour is long enough to gauge interest without the burden of endless conversation. You stay relaxed, and that helps both sides enjoy the experience more.”
3. Encourages Simplicity
One-hour dates are simple and easy to plan. A shorter date makes you able to easily arrange certain things like the location of the date, food drinks, etc.
Simplicity keeps things low-pressure and comfortable. Plus, shorter dates give you flexibility in your schedule.
Comparison Table of Simple First Dates
| Type of Date | Duration | Activity Example |
|---|---|---|
| Coffee Date | 30-60 min | Chat over coffee |
| Park Walk | 30-60 min | Stroll together |
| Casual Lunch | 45-60 min | Enjoy a light meal |
4. Leaves Room for Mystery
A short date keeps a little mystery alive. When you end on a positive note after an hour, there’s still more to discover. This creates excitement for a second date.
If you spend too much time together on the first date, you may run out of things to talk about. Keeping the conversation light and leaving a few topics for later builds curiosity and anticipation.
Saskia Ruby, a matchmaker from Chicago, insists on leaving room for mystery. “A brief first date keeps things fresh,” she shared. “When you spend just an hour together, there’s still more to discover. That little bit of mystery adds excitement for future dates.”
Saskia explained that ending on a positive note after 60 minutes makes it easier to look forward to the next meeting with curiosity.
5. Boosts First Impressions
Making a good first impression is vital, and a 60-minute date makes it easier. Short dates help you put your best foot forward without the risk of things dragging on. If the date goes well, you’ll have left a positive, lasting impression.
If it doesn’t, at least you won’t have to endure an uncomfortable situation for long.
First Impression Tips:
- Arrive on time to show respect.
- Dress comfortably yet nicely.
- Keep the conversation light and friendly.
- Smile and make eye contact.
These small things can go a long way toward creating a successful and enjoyable date.
6. Allows for Multiple Dates
When dates are shorter, you have the freedom to meet more people. If you’re actively dating, spending only an hour per date opens up your schedule for more opportunities. It also means less time invested in someone who may not be a good match.
By keeping your first dates short, you can explore different connections without feeling overwhelmed.
Waverly Joy, a relationship blogger from Austin, believes in the power of shorter dates for people who are actively dating. She explained, “When you limit your dates to one hour, it opens up your schedule to meet more people.”
Waverly added, “Keeping dates short gives you the freedom to explore different connections without overwhelming your calendar. It helps you avoid spending too much time on a match that isn’t right.”
7. Helps You Manage Expectations
One-hour dates are realistic. Longer dates can set high expectations that aren’t always met. If things don’t go as planned, an hour is manageable and prevents disappointment.
You’ll walk away knowing that you gave it a fair shot without overcommitting. This way, your expectations stay grounded, and you can enjoy the experience without added stress.
Beckett Wilder, a psychologist from Seattle, encourages singles to manage their expectations by keeping first dates to one hour.
“One-hour dates keep things realistic. Longer dates often lead to high expectations that aren’t always met.”
Beckett pointed out, “By keeping it short, you avoid disappointment and set yourself up for a better dating experience overall.”
How Long Should a First Dinner Date Last?
When it comes to dinner dates, things are a little different. Dinner involves more time, so a typical first dinner date should last around 1 to 1.5 hours.
You’ll want enough time to enjoy your meal, chat comfortably, and get to know each other in a relaxed setting. A dinner date shouldn’t feel rushed, but you also don’t want to linger too long.
During a dinner date, the pace is slower since you’re eating and talking between bites. Take your time, but keep in mind that 1.5 hours is usually enough. After that, you might start feeling tired, and the conversation could lose its spark. Leaving on a high note is always a good idea.
How Long Should a First Coffee Date Last?
Coffee dates are much more casual than dinner dates. Because of that, they should be shorter—typically 30 to 60 minutes. Coffee dates are perfect for a first meeting because they allow for easy conversation without any big-time commitments. If the date goes well, you can extend it a bit or plan for a second date later.
Coffee dates are light and friendly, giving both of you a chance to see if there’s a connection.
If things don’t click, you can leave after your coffee without feeling awkward. These shorter dates are ideal for getting a quick sense of compatibility while keeping things low-key.
Should I Bring Flowers on a First Date?
Bringing flowers on a first date isn’t necessary. It’s best to keep things simple and relaxed. Flowers might feel like too much for a first meeting. Focus on getting to know the person instead. Here’s why skipping the flowers works:
- Flowers create pressure.
- A casual approach is easier for both of you.
- Keep the date light and fun, not formal.
Save the grand gestures for later. Start with good conversation and genuine interest.
Conclusion
When it comes to first dates, the key is to keep things simple and enjoyable. Whether it’s an hour for a casual meet-up or a bit longer for dinner, the goal is to have fun and get to know the other person without overthinking it.
Keep it short, sweet, and exciting, and you’ll leave the date with a smile on your face and anticipation for what comes next.
As a married wife, founder, and editor of SpouseMag.com – these guides are based on my own personal experiences, observations, research and insights. I am transparent about being inspired by the life and work of the two greatest experts in the relationship space – Dr. John and Julia Gottman, and Harville and Helen. They two are some of the strongest couples, researchers, authors, and counselors when it comes to marriage and relationships. My advice and guides are based on my insights and research, and they are not an alternative to professional advice.
