As someone who has gathered valuable insights from people with diverse experiences, I understand that every relationship has its unique dynamics.
One common aspect that some couples navigate is a difference in height. In my case, my wife is shorter than me, and it’s crucial to approach this topic with sensitivity and awareness.
Here are 17 important things NOT to do when dealing with such a situation.
Here’s a summary of the insights shared:
Avoid making height the centerpiece of conversation. Focus on the qualities that brought you together.
Refrain from unsolicited advice. Encourage open communication instead.
Never assume physical abilities based on height. Acknowledge and appreciate each other’s unique strengths.
Don’t let societal norms dictate your relationship dynamics. Embrace your unique connection rather than conforming to external standards.
Avoid using height differences as a power dynamic. Cultivate an environment of mutual respect.
Steer clear of comparison conversations. Each relationship is unique, and what works for others may not work for you.
Don’t use height as a reason for dismissal. Validate each other’s perspectives regardless of stature.
Avoid excessive PDA to compensate. Focus on genuine moments of connection.
Refrain from assuming preferences in social settings. Make decisions collaboratively to promote equality.
Do not prioritize external opinions. Trust your judgment and prioritize your relationship over societal expectations.
Never use height differences as a source of insecurity. Celebrate each other’s unique qualities.
These insights emphasize the importance of mutual respect, communication, and acceptance in building a strong and enduring relationship despite differences in height.
My Wife is Shorter Than Me- What you Should Not Do
1. Never Make Height the Centerpiece of Conversation
It’s tempting to crack a joke or make light of the height difference, but this can unintentionally make your partner feel self-conscious.
Avoid constant references or jokes about height, as this might lead to discomfort and even resentment.
Instead, focus on the myriad qualities that drew you to your partner in the first place, emphasizing the depth and substance of your relationship.
2. Refrain from Unsolicited Advice
Everyone’s relationship is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another.
Avoid offering unsolicited advice to your partner about their height, clothing choices, or posture.
Such comments can be perceived as judgmental and may erode the trust and comfort in your relationship. Instead, encourage open communication and support each other’s individuality.
3. Never Assume Physical Abilities Based on Height
Height has no bearing on a person’s capabilities, talents, or skills. Avoid making assumptions about your partner’s abilities or preferences solely based on their height.
Instead, acknowledge and appreciate each other’s strengths and weaknesses, recognizing that these qualities are not determined by stature.
4. Don’t Let Societal Norms Dictate Your Relationship Dynamics
Society often imposes certain expectations on how couples should look, with height being one of the factors. It’s crucial to resist these norms and embrace your unique dynamic.
Let your connection and shared values be the guiding forces in your relationship, rather than conforming to external standards.
This approach will strengthen your bond and help you build a relationship on authenticity.
5. Avoid Using Height Differences as a Power Dynamic
In any relationship, establishing equality is key.
Never use height differences as a means of asserting power or control. Whether consciously or subconsciously, such actions can lead to resentment and damage the foundation of your relationship.
Instead, cultivate an environment of mutual respect, where both partners feel valued and appreciated for who they are.
6. Steer Clear of Comparison Conversations
Comparing your relationship to others can be detrimental, especially when it comes to physical attributes like height.
Avoid engaging in conversations that focus on how other couples handle their height differences.
Each relationship is unique, and what works for one may not work for another.
Stay true to your own connection, and prioritize the dynamics that make your relationship special.
7. Don’t Use Height as a Reason for Dismissal
Never let height be a determining factor in decision-making or dismiss your partner’s opinions based on their stature.
Avoid phrases like “You wouldn’t understand because you’re shorter”.
Such statements undermine the strength of your relationship and can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
Instead, foster open communication and validate each other’s perspectives, regardless of height.
8. Avoid Excessive PDA to Compensate
While physical affection is essential in any relationship, avoid excessive public displays of affection (PDA) as a means to compensate for the height difference.
This can come across as forced or insincere. Instead, focus on genuine moments of connection, whether through shared interests, laughter, or meaningful conversations, which are the pillars of a strong relationship.
9. Refrain from Assuming Preferences in Social Settings
When attending social events, avoid assuming your partner’s preferences regarding seating arrangements or participation in activities based on their height.
Allow your partner to express their preferences, and ensure that decisions are made collaboratively. This promotes a sense of equality and demonstrates respect for each other’s autonomy.
10. Do Not Prioritize External Opinions
External opinions can often influence the way we perceive our relationships.
Avoid prioritizing external opinions about your height difference over your partner’s feelings and comfort.
Trust your own judgment and prioritize the well-being of your relationship. A strong partnership is built on internal understanding and mutual support.
11. Never Use Height Differences as a Source of Insecurity
Height should never be a source of insecurity for either partner.
Avoid dwelling on insecurities related to your height difference, and instead, celebrate the unique qualities that each of you brings to the relationship.
Cultivate a positive and empowering atmosphere that encourages self-confidence and mutual appreciation.
12. Refrain from Overcompensating through Footwear
While a little lift in your shoes is acceptable, avoid overcompensating for the height difference through exaggerated footwear. Embracing one’s natural height is an essential part of self-acceptance.
Overdoing it with elevated shoes might inadvertently send the message that you’re uncomfortable with the difference.
Instead, choose footwear that complements your style without overshadowing the authenticity of your relationship.
13. Do Not Minimize Feelings About Height-Related Challenges
Acknowledging and addressing challenges related to height differences is crucial for a healthy relationship.
Avoid minimizing your partner’s feelings or concerns about these challenges. Openly discuss any difficulties you both may face, and work together to find solutions.
Ignoring or belittling these concerns can lead to emotional distance and dissatisfaction.
14. Avoid Stereotyping Based on Height in Humor
While humor is a great way to navigate challenges, avoid perpetuating stereotypes related to height differences through jokes or playful banter.
Height should never be the punchline of a joke that undermines your partner’s confidence or self-esteem.
Foster an atmosphere where humor brings joy without reinforcing stereotypes or causing discomfort.
15. Do Not Succumb to Pressure for Height-Altering Measures
In some cases, societal pressure may encourage individuals to consider height-altering measures.
Avoid succumbing to external pressures or unrealistic beauty standards that suggest altering one’s height for the sake of conformity.
Acceptance of oneself and each other is key in building a resilient and enduring relationship.
16. Refrain from Labeling the Relationship Based on Height
Do not let the height difference define or label your relationship. Avoid terms like “the tall one” or “the short one” when describing each other.
Such labels can inadvertently contribute to a sense of imbalance and create an unnecessary focus on physical differences. Instead, emphasize the shared experiences, values, and aspirations that bind you together.
17. Do Not Seek Validation from Others
It’s essential to derive validation and satisfaction from within your relationship rather than seeking external approval.
Avoid seeking validation from others based on societal norms or expectations about height differences.
Your relationship is unique, and its strength lies in your mutual understanding, not in conforming to external judgments.
As a married wife, founder, and editor of SpouseMag.com – these guides are based on my own personal experiences, observations, research and insights. I am transparent about being inspired by the life and work of the two greatest experts in the relationship space – Dr. John and Julia Gottman, and Harville and Helen. They two are some of the strongest couples, researchers, authors, and counselors when it comes to marriage and relationships. My advice and guides are based on my insights and research, and they are not an alternative to professional advice.
