Questions for Couples Review

Marcus and Ashley Kusi have created a valuable resource for couples looking to strengthen their bond. Their book, Questions for Couples, is more than just a collection of questions; it’s a roadmap to a more meaningful relationship.

The Kusi’s have carefully curated 469 thought-provoking questions to spark honest and open conversations. These aren’t just casual chit-chat questions; they’re designed to delve deep into the heart of your relationship.

I loved reading “Questions for Couples.” The questions kept me hooked and helped me connect with my partner on a deeper level.

1. Purpose of the Questions

When I first picked up “Questions for Couples,” I was struck by how it emphasizes the importance of asking the right questions to deepen a relationship. The questions in this book aren’t just casual conversation starters. They’re crafted to peel back the layers of your relationship, allowing you to see and understand each other’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a new light.

For example, a question like, “If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be and why?” is designed to spark deep conversations about personal growth and self-awareness.

Whether you’ve been together for a few months or many years, these questions promote open communication and deeper understanding. They encourage you to reflect not only on your relationship but also on yourselves as individuals, which is key to growing together.

Marcus and Ashley Kusi’s idea that “the quality of your questions determines the quality of your relationship” resonated with me. In my years as a relationship coach, I’ve seen countless couples who struggle because they stay stuck in surface-level conversations. The Kusis’ approach offers a practical way to break through that barrier.

Critique: Questions Alone Do Not Drive Change

While the book does a fantastic job of emphasizing the importance of deep conversations, I wonder if asking questions is enough. The real challenge in relationships often lies not in the questions but in how the answers are received and acted upon. You can ask all the right questions, but if the answers aren’t followed up with meaningful action, the conversation does not lead to real change.

Types of Questions

The book smartly divides the questions into three main categories, each with its unique focus:

• Connection Questions: These questions, like “What are your top three life goals right now?” are designed to help you and your partner get on the same page
• Trust-Building Questions: Questions like “What’s a past hurt that you haven’t fully healed from?” explore the challenging aspects of relationships. The Kusis believe that addressing past issues head-on is crucial for rebuilding and reinforcing trust.
• Intimacy-Rekindling Questions: These questions, such as “What’s something new you’d like to try together in the bedroom?” are all about rekindling the romantic and physical aspects of the relationship. Relationships sometimes lose their spark, but these questions are here to help you bring them back.

Critique: Overlooked Practical Tips for Initiating & Maintaining Meaningful Conversations

While the division of questions into three main categories is a valuable approach, the book could benefit from providing more specific guidance on how to use these questions effectively. For example, the book could offer suggestions on how to initiate and maintain a meaningful conversation using these prompts, handle difficult and sensitive topics, and adapt the questions to different relationship stages and personalities.

Reigniting the Spark

The final section of the book focuses on intimacy. Kusi recognizes that intimacy is more than just physical closeness; it’s also an emotional connection. Their questions in this section explore desires, fantasies, and emotional needs.

I found the question, “What is your biggest turn-on in a partner?” particularly thought-provoking. This question can help couples discover new ways to express their love and affection for each other.

Critique: Overemphasis on Physical Intimacy

Some readers argue that the focus on physical intimacy is a bit overstated. While physical intimacy is important, it’s not the only component of a healthy relationship. The book could benefit from including more questions that focus on emotional intimacy and connection.

Practical Considerations

One of the biggest advantages of this book is its flexibility. You can use it for a casual date night, a deep conversation during a road trip, and a tool for resolving conflicts. This adaptability is a major plus.

I’ve seen how integrating these questions into your everyday routine can turn ordinary moments into opportunities for a deeper connection.

Critique: Overwhelming Quantity of Questions

However, I found the sheer number of questions a bit overwhelming. While it’s great to have so many options, it is also a bit daunting. A more curated selection of questions would have been helpful for some couples.

Benefits

The real power of this book is in the tangible results it delivers. Through the use of these questions, you will experience enhanced communication, minimized misunderstandings, and a more profound emotional connection.

Having worked with many couples over the years, I can say that these are the areas where relationships often need the most work, and the book offers a valuable tool for addressing them.

Critique: Questions Alone Aren’t Enough

While these questions can facilitate deeper understanding and connection, they’re just one piece of the puzzle. Real change requires consistent effort, patience, and sometimes even professional help. I’ve seen couples make incredible progress with tools like this, but it’s important to approach it with the right mindset.

Why Should You Read Questions for Couples?

Here are a few reasons why you should consider reading it:

• The questions help you create shared memories and experiences that strengthen your bond.
• The questions are designed to spark meaningful conversations that help you understand your partner deeply.
• Open and honest communication is essential for any healthy relationship. This book provides a structured way to have those conversations.
• The questions explore desires, fantasies, and emotional needs, helping you reignite the spark in your relationship.
• The book offers practical tips and advice on how to use the questions effectively.

Readers’ Thoughts About Questions for Couples?

Many readers appreciate how the book encourages meaningful dialogue. They’ve found that the questions spark deep, insightful conversations beyond typical small talk.

One reader noted, “Using these questions with my partner has opened up new levels of understanding between us. We’re talking about things we never discussed before.”

A common comment is, “We use the questions during our weekly check-ins. It’s become a fun and valuable part of our routine.”

Some readers find certain questions too intense and confrontational, especially if the relationship is still in the early stages or there are existing conflicts.

One reader reflected, “While the questions are insightful, a few felt overwhelming. It might be better to start with lighter questions before diving into deeper topics.”

While many find the book helpful, some readers recognize it’s not a replacement for professional counseling. They suggest that couples facing significant issues need additional support.

One insightful comment was, “The book is great for deepening communication, but for serious issues, couples might still need to seek professional guidance.“

Related Reads

If you enjoyed Questions for Couples, you might also be interested in these books:

• The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
• Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller
• Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson

Final Word

Questions for Couples by Marcus and Ashley Kusi offers a valuable tool for couples seeking to deepen their connection, improve communication, and reignite intimacy. By asking thought-provoking questions and exploring various aspects of their relationship, couples can strengthen their bond.

However, it’s also important to approach these questions with the understanding that they are just one part of the relationship puzzle. Balance, timing, and mutual readiness are key to getting the most out of this book.