No. Dating your best friend is a risky move that potentially damages your friendship. While the comfort and familiarity of a close bond are appealing, the dynamics of your relationship change drastically.
However, there are rare instances where dating your best friend works. If both parties are genuinely interested in a romantic relationship and are willing to have honest conversations about expectations and boundaries.
Is It Wise to Date Your Best Friend?
Generally, it’s not advisable to date your best friend. While the comfort and familiarity of a close bond are appealing, the risk of damaging the friendship is significant.
However, exceptions exist when there are strong feelings, a solid foundation of trust, a willingness to compromise, and a clear understanding of the potential risks involved. Even in these cases, careful consideration is essential.
In this blog post, we’ll explore the benefits and challenges of dating your best friend.
Benefits of Dating Your Best Friend
Dating your best friend offers several unique advantages, thanks to the deep connection and understanding you already share. Here are some key benefits:
1. You Already Know the Good Stuff (And the Bad)
Let’s face it: You’ve seen your best friend in their sweatpants, with no makeup and a face full of dust. If you still find them attractive, you’ve got a solid foundation. You know their quirks, dreams, deepest fears, and that embarrassing story from college.
I remember when I dated a close friend; the comfort level we had with each other made the early stages of the relationship feel almost effortless.
2. Built-in Support System
Need a shoulder to cry on? Your best friend’s got you. Want to celebrate your promotion? Your best friend is buying the champagne. When you date your best friend, you’re not just getting a partner, you’re getting a cheerleader, a therapist, and a personal chef (if they’re good at cooking).
Plus, you already know their love language, so no more guessing games.
3. Deep Trust and Communication
Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship, and you’ve already got that covered. You’re aware of each other’s vulnerabilities, strengths, and past experiences, which creates a solid foundation for a romantic relationship.
I recall when I began dating a close friend. The trust we had developed over years of friendship made it easier to be open about my fears and hopes.
4. Less Awkwardness, More Laughter
When you’re dating your best friend, cringe-worthy moments are replaced with inside jokes and shared laughter. There’s no pressure to be someone you’re not because they already love you for being you (even when you’re wearing that questionable outfit).
Drawbacks of Dating Your Best Friend
While dating your best friend sounds like a dream come true, it’s important to consider the potential downsides. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows, folks.
1. Friendship Could Change
You find yourself drifting apart from mutual friends, or your inside jokes start to feel awkward. The dynamics of your friendship shift, and it is hard to go back to “just friends” if things don’t work out.
One of the biggest fears I faced when my best friend and I decided to date was the potential fallout if things didn’t work out. The thought of losing not just a romantic partner but also a cherished friend was daunting.
2. High Expectations
You probably think you know your best friend inside and out, but relationships evolve.
You’ve built up this perfect image of your friend over the years. When you start dating, reality does not match the fantasy. Disappointment strains your relationship.
You discover sides of their personality you didn’t like, and he has expectations you can’t meet. These realizations are tough to handle when you’ve built such a strong friendship.
3. Fear of Ruining Everything
The biggest fear? Losing your best friend. If the relationship doesn’t work out, it is devastating. You’ll lose not just a romantic partner, but your confidante, your partner in crime, and your go-to person.
4. Lack of Excitement
While familiarity is comforting, it is also a little…boring. The thrill of the new relationship is missing, and you may find yourself falling into a comfortable routine too quickly.
While the familiarity of dating a best friend was comforting, it sometimes felt like we needed to go the extra mile to create new and exciting experiences together
Real-life Experiences and Stories
In our quest to find out if should I date my best friend, we interviewed several individuals who have navigated this unique transition. Here’s what they had to say:
1. Emily and Chris
Emily and Chris met at work and bonded over cooking and hiking. After years of friendship, Chris finally asked Emily out.
Engaged and planning their wedding, Emily shares, “Our friendship made our romantic relationship so much stronger and more fun.”
2. Jessica and Tom
Jessica and Tom had been best friends since high school. They were practically inseparable, sharing everything from secrets to favorite TV shows. One summer, they both realized their feelings for each other had evolved into something more. Excited but nervous, they decided to give dating a shot.
Unfortunately, things didn’t work out as planned.
Jessica shares, “It was a tough transition. We thought dating would be the next natural step, but it complicated things. Sometimes, it’s better to cherish the friendship you have rather than risk losing it.”
3. Alex and Jamie
Childhood friends Alex and Jamie reconnected in their late twenties. When Alex admitted his feelings, Jamie was relieved because she felt the same way.
Happily married, Alex reflects, “We skipped the awkward dating phase and went straight to the best part—being with someone who truly gets you.”
Conclusion
The decision to transition from friendship to romance is complex and filled with potential outcomes.
While there are undeniable benefits to dating your best friend, it’s essential to approach the situation with caution and realism. Remember, the foundation of any successful relationship, romantic or platonic, is built on trust, respect, and open communication.
As a married wife, founder, and editor of SpouseMag.com – these guides are based on my own personal experiences, observations, research and insights. I am transparent about being inspired by the life and work of the two greatest experts in the relationship space – Dr. John and Julia Gottman, and Harville and Helen. They two are some of the strongest couples, researchers, authors, and counselors when it comes to marriage and relationships. My advice and guides are based on my insights and research, and they are not an alternative to professional advice.
