The Upside of Unrequited is about Molly, a 17-year-old who’s had 26 crushes but no boyfriends. She’s figuring out the messiness of unrequited love, self-acceptance, and growing up. Molly has a loving, non-traditional family and a twin sister, Cassie, who’s starting a new relationship. This makes Molly feel left out, especially since she struggles with body image and worries her weight makes her less attractive.
The story captures the uncertainty of first love as Molly finds herself torn between two boys, all while exploring the importance of family, the fear of change, and the journey toward self-love.
I enjoyed reading The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli. It’s a heartfelt story that captures the messy, often painful, but ultimately rewarding journey of growing up. The novel also stands out for its positive LGBTQ+ representation and realistic exploration of the fear of change.
Unrequited Love
The protagonist, Molly, has experienced the pain of unrequited love 26 times. These unreciprocated crushes become a central theme in the novel, exploring the deep emotional impact they have on her self-esteem and confidence. Molly’s longing for love and fear of rejection creates an emotional barrier that prevents her from pursuing relationships, reinforcing her belief that she is destined to remain unloved.
Having had my fair share of crushes that went nowhere, I could feel the pangs of longing and the sting of rejection that Molly endures throughout the book.
Critique: Overlooked the Positive Side of Unrequited Love
As much as I empathized with Molly’s struggles, I couldn’t help but feel that the novel overemphasizes the idea that unrequited love is almost an inevitable outcome, especially for someone with self-confidence issues. In my own life, I’ve found that while unrequited love is painful, it doesn’t always have to lead to a downward spiral in self-esteem. Sometimes, those unreciprocated feelings push you to reflect on what you truly want in a relationship, and they can even lead to stronger self-awareness
Self-Acceptance
Molly constantly worries that her weight makes her unappealing, which adds another layer to her struggles with love and self-worth. Her insecurities are magnified by the perception that everyone around her is more confident, attractive, and more likely to be loved.
As the story unfolds, Molly begins to realize that self-acceptance is more about changing how she views herself than about changing her physical appearance. The novel emphasizes the importance of self-love and challenges societal pressures on physical beauty.
Critique: Self-Love Is Too Closely Tied to Romantic Validation
Molly’s journey to self-love is too closely tied to romantic validation. Her path to accepting her body seems to gain momentum primarily through the attention she receives from potential love interests. I remember when I realized my worth is determined by my self-perception, not by others’ views. I wish the novel had explored this more by showing Molly finding confidence in her passions, talents, and kindness, not just in romance.
Family Dynamics
Molly’s family is non-traditional yet deeply supportive. She and her twin sister, Cassie, are raised by two moms, and their family dynamic is a cornerstone of the story. While they share a close bond, their relationship is tested as Cassie becomes more involved in her romantic life. This shift leaves Molly feeling abandoned.
Albertalli uses this dynamic to explore the complexities of sibling relationships, especially when life changes pull them apart. The novel emphasizes that even within the closest of families, change and growth can create rifts that need to be navigated with care and understanding.
Molly’s relationship with her sister, Cassie, hit home for me. I don’t have a twin, but I have a sibling with whom I’ve always shared a close bond. It’s hard not to feel a little lost when someone you’re so close to starts finding new paths without you
Critique: Portrayal of Molly’s Family is Overwhelmingly Positive
While the depiction of a non-traditional family is refreshing, the novel plays it too safe in this area. The portrayal of Molly’s family is overwhelmingly positive, which, while heartening, comes across as a bit idealized. There’s little exploration of the potential challenges and conflicts that can arise in non-traditional families, which might have added more depth to the story.
Navigating First Love
As Molly develops feelings for two different boys, Reid and Will, the novel captures the excitement and uncertainty of first love. Albertalli shows how Molly feels vulnerable and scared, especially because she has always watched others find love while she’s been alone.
The book emphasizes that first love is not just about finding someone who loves you back, but about the courage to take a leap of faith, despite the risks. I remember the thrill of my first love, that mix of excitement and terror, and Albertalli captures that feeling perfectly through Molly’s experiences
Critique: Overlooked Broader Aspects of Growing Up Beyond First Love
While I appreciated the authenticity of Molly’s romantic journey, I also felt that the novel placed too much emphasis on the idea that first love is the ultimate coming-of-age experience. In reality, there are so many other aspects of growing up that are just as significant, if not more so.
The novel could have benefited from a broader perspective, showing that first love is just one piece of the puzzle, not the entire picture. This would have provided a more balanced view of the adolescent experience and highlighted that growing up involves more than just romantic relationships.
Sexuality and LGBTQ+ Representation
Cassie, Molly’s sister, is in a relationship with Mina, and their love story is treated with the same care and attention as any other romantic subplot. The novel presents a family environment where diversity in sexual orientation is accepted and celebrated, offering a positive depiction of LGBTQ+ relationships.
The novel’s inclusion of diverse LGBTQ+ characters is a refreshing change of pace. As a relationship expert, I believe it’s essential to create a safe and inclusive space for all individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
Critique: Overlooked Challenges in LGBTQ+ Representation
I think the novel missed an opportunity to explore the more challenging aspects of LGBTQ+ life. While it’s important to show positive representations, it’s equally important to acknowledge the difficulties that many LGBTQ+ individuals face, such as prejudice, discrimination, and the internal conflicts that come with navigating one’s identity in a society that isn’t always accepting.
Conclusion
The Upside of Unrequited is a heartwarming story about a girl named Molly who has experienced 26 unrequited crushes. Through Molly’s story, we see the pain of unrequited love and the struggle with body image, reminding us that these experiences are part of figuring out who we are.
The novel beautifully portrays family dynamics, showing the strength of unconditional support, and explores the excitement and uncertainty of first love. With its inclusive representation of LGBTQ+ relationships and its honest take on the challenges of adolescence, Albertalli’s book feels like a comforting friend who understands the messy, beautiful journey of growing up.
Why You Should Read The Upside of Unrequited?
Here are a few reasons why you should read The Upside of Unrequited:
- The book offers a message of hope and resilience, reminding us that even in the face of heartbreak and disappointment, there is always the possibility of finding love and happiness.
- Molly’s struggles with unrequited love and self-esteem are universal experiences that many of us can connect with.
- The characters in the book are lovable and relatable, making it easy to root for them.
- The novel explores important themes such as self-love, friendship, family, and LGBTQ+ representation.
Goodreads Readers’ Thoughts About The Upside of Unrequited
Goodreads readers have had mixed reactions to The Upside of Unrequited. Some have praised the novel for its relatable characters, heartwarming themes, and humor. Others have found the story to be predictable and lacking in depth.
Emily H., College Student: “Molly’s journey through her crushes and self-doubt was so relatable. I saw so much of myself in her struggles with body image and finding love.“
Daniel M., Graphic Designer: “The humor and emotional depth in this book made it a real page-turner. Molly’s relationships, both with her family and her friends, felt so real.“
James T., High School Teacher: “I found The Upside of Unrequited to be a bit predictable and lacking in depth. The characters were okay, but I didn’t feel a strong connection to them. While it was a cute read, I was hoping for something more substantial.”
Rating: 4.0 stars out of 5
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As a married wife, founder, and editor of SpouseMag.com – these guides are based on my own personal experiences, observations, research and insights. I am transparent about being inspired by the life and work of the two greatest experts in the relationship space – Dr. John and Julia Gottman, and Harville and Helen. They two are some of the strongest couples, researchers, authors, and counselors when it comes to marriage and relationships. My advice and guides are based on my insights and research, and they are not an alternative to professional advice.
